On Tunnel Vision and Creativity

From a private session on 10/12/2023:

DianeHB: Hello Michael. I'd like to talk more about my tendency toward tunnel-vision. You've mentioned it to me once or twice in the past, but it's not something I was aware of until you mentioned a guide working with me on it. This is a passage from the session about my writing guides:

MEntity: We have seen a few over time, but the focus of a Scholar at the moment is the most influential. This guide seems to be a breakthrough guide, a guide who may help nurture realizations and changes in perspective. This guide was drawn in as a specialist due to tunnel vision.MEntity: We think they may show up through those moments of softness and surrender that allow you to either step away from or step into the next idea/project without a charge around it.

Here's what I wrote in my last session about how I see this tunnel vision show up: "I can see that if I'm stuck on an article I'm writing, I tend to struggle with it and feel like I have to finish it before I can move on. But pushing on makes the writing feel like drudgery, then I'd feel bad for the work taking so long."

I know I have a strong ability to focus and can be fixated on my goals to the exclusion of other parts of life and people, and I'm guessing this is where the tunnel vision comes in. I'd like to explore more about how this shows up in a way that hinders my creative process. Even with this dip back into artistic play, I'm sometimes blocked by thinking "where is this going?" and "it's taking too long." I think these thoughts are my old habits showing up that doesn't feel like it's okay to explore...even though it is.

In case the question is not clear: "How does this tunnel vision show up in a way that hinders my creative process?"

MEntity:

We could say that the easiest way to see your tunnel vision when it is present is when you "second-guess" yourself. When you question yourself in a way that is to plant doubt, not to seek insight. Some of your questions about your work are rhetorical and only reflect the voices of the past that taught you to have to prove the value of something, and prove it fast to justify the time and energy.

So when you find yourself asking what is the point, or where is this going, or why am I doing this, it is fair to ask those questions, but it is not fair if the answer is already decided to be that it is easier to prove you are wrong or pointless.

DianeHB: Yeah, I see that.

DianeHB: In the past month or two, I've had many moments of feeling happy just puttering, making art, organizing my notes, and I sometimes question if this is really okay. I'm still not getting enough writing done, and I feel frustrated about that.

MEntity:

It appears to us that a part of you and your guides are seeking the balance needed for you to have the energy to evenly share among your desires. You have a tendency to bank your energy for "what is important" and this then becomes unavailable to "what is not important" until what is important is addressed. In terms of creativity, what is not important is as important as what is important.

This is because what is often deemed not important is where you gain the inspiration, fuel, and motivation for what is important.

You have always had the equation "backwards" in that you may be locked into what is important and anything not important is a waste or a distraction, but you need these.

DianeHB: Yeah, that makes sense. I've become more aware that "what is not important" leads me to unexpected discoveries or just space to process, but I still question it sometimes when I'm not seeing enough progress. But... progress doesn't go in a straight line.

MEntity: What you describe goes back to the tunnel vision. In those instances where you question, direct that questioning toward being informative rather than as rhetorical and taunting.

DianeHB: What would be an example of informative questioning?

MEntity: Why am I doing this? Because I want to. vs Why am I doing this, it is just a waste of time and a distraction.

DianeHB: Ah I see.

MEntity: Do you recognize one over the other?

DianeHB: Yeah, my questioning is always rhetorical and taunting.

MEntity: Change the questioning, change the answers.

DianeHB: I'll try that.

MEntity: We know the progress is incremental, but it is working.

DianeHB: I've been learning the piano this year, and as I was thinking on this topic last night, I'm realizing that it taught me a lot about how I learn when I enjoy something for its own sake and how much the joy dies when I put a deadline on it.

MEntity:

Yes, but your next steps would be to remove the charge of deadlines. They are not the problem. Only the interpretation of what a deadline means creates the challenge.

Work on your method of questioning for now, and then aim for a reframing of what a deadline means.

DianeHB: Yeah, good point. I tried removing deadlines, but then I got frustrated with the lack of progress.

MEntity: It is not a deadline that is imposed or forced upon you, they are chosen. They are meaningful. They are an important part of the infrastructure of creativity when it is being shared with others.

DianeHB: That's good to remember. I'm still reacting to deadlines as if I were in school.

MEntity:

It can be helpful to think of your deadlines as "reveals" than as pressure. They are a point at which you aim to reveal your creativity. Not simply to fulfill a rote task. It may be helpful to ADD more deadlines, as in, break up the stages of your creativity so that you have meaningful points of checking in rather than one project with one deadline.

Reframe the entire process as "check ins" and "reveals".

Renaming and reframing old terms to suit your own processes can be a pivotal breakthrough.

DianeHB: I like that. I've been thinking of ways I can reduce the hurdle and perfectionism in my sharing, and this idea helps.

MEntity: The work will be the same, whether you dread it or enjoy it.

DianeHB: I'd like to enjoy it, obviously.

MEntity: We know. And you will.

DianeHB: Thank you, this has been really helpful talking it through.