1109 Life task, managing trauma in relationships and what the hell my Essence was thinking in creating Personality

Life task, managing trauma in relationships and what the hell my Essence was thinking in creating Personality

Channeled on November 9, 2019 by Nick Sweeney (Babylove)

MEntity: We are here now * and we can begin.

Avi: Hi, Michael, so happy to finally talk to you. First, I’d just like to ask, am I your student as in do we have any agreements? I just noticed that you have a lot of older souls studying your teachings but it's resonated with me for awhile. And I'd also like to just ask can you give me information about my soul age, as in when did I start this cycle? And if I've been a student before? And when was the first time I stepped in on my current age and how many times I've been on this current level?

MEntity:

Yes, we understand and if we miss any of your questions do remind us as our channel has to feed these questions to us. So when you give more than two or three questions at a time, some of them can get lost in the shuffle so to speak.

One moment while we compile a response

It is true that most of our agreements are with old souls. But we do have agreements with a smaller number of mature souls and an even smaller number of young souls. Most of the time the agreements with our younger souls are due to more special or extraordinary circumstances.

For example, a mature soul or young soul child of an old soul who has a great deal of exposure to us and our teaching because of the proximity to the parent fragment.

There are other scenarios, of course, that can bring more exposure to us and our teaching for the younger souls. Although it would still be the choice of that personality as to whether or not there is interest in our teaching, which can pave the way for future lifetimes and deeper comprehension of the teaching.

Though you are a younger soul than the average of our students, you have had much exposure to our teaching and it continues to be of interest.

Though the dates will have to be validated over time as our channel is not the most confident with specific dates at this point in his work with us, we will do our best to get, accurate information through.

It seems your first exposure to us was in the mid cycle of your young cycle. We're seeing at the time of ancient Greece when the oracles of Delphi were common oracles being sought by those of a more spiritual and metaphysical nature at the time. There were various groups at this time studying many aspects of spirituality and metaphysics

It looks as if you were a relatively young child who accompanied a family member to these meetings. These were not at the oracles of Delphi. But local to them. It looks as if you were there with an aunt whom you were close with and who cared for you often as the mother was ill.

Though the times with us in that format were sparse and split between various ages, between the ages of 10 years old and 15...ages 15 years or so, this was enough to establish contact with us, resonance and to begin forming a relationship with us and our teaching as a young soul then and because we could only get small portions of our teaching through at the time anyway, the teaching and how you would have applied it at the time would be very different than what you are capable of now.

It mostly was a reference for how to allow healthy competition between you and the other younger souls at the time. Respecting one another's drive and ambition and enterprise. How to establish certain codes of conduct within those contexts of competition. So as to minimize exploitation, manipulation and destruction.

As we move towards the end of the young Soul Cycle, there would have been more glimpses and comprehension of compassion and empathy, as you would have prepared to transition into the mature Soul Cycle

Yes, you do have agreements with us. These are secondary agreements at the moment which gives you a great deal of room and flexibility to survey many different philosophies and perspectives of interest alongside our own.

Though we may not be your primary teaching or philosophy, teaching can help to give coherence and insight into those teachings and philosophies that do resonate with you more strongly at this time.

We are aware of the seventh level young soul age that has been channel for you previously as our channel is aware of this but we see your technical soul age as fifth mature, manifesting young to mature. Your evolution has been much accelerated due to the exposure to our teaching and your continued interest.

When we say your evolution has been accelerated, we are referring to the only way that evolution occurs on the physical plane through the incarnations and that is through Essence contact. There has been much Essence recognition and Essence contact for you as a fragment since the introduction of our teaching.

It seems that now in your current place of evolution our teaching is a great support for enlightening perspectives that you can explore to help untangle some of the drama of the mature soul, cycle and experience, as well as the intensity of it. Working through some of the relationships and integrating the empathy and compassion that comes along with such a deep dive into relationships and the emotional body seems to be where the teaching is helping to bring some space, clarity and support Essence recognition within these contexts

And of course, there is some looking ahead to the vastness and spaciousness that is the old soul cycle and the comprehension and balancing of paradox that begin to occur in that cycle.

Have we answered all of the questions?

Avi: Yes.

Avi: Since you mentioned relationships, this has been a really hard week for me as far as the bringing up of trauma and that kind of, I think interfered with a new relationship I was building with someone or thinking of building with someone named **** and it triggered me a lot because I've been struggling for a while now with my romantic relationships. And feeling like I'm doing things I don't really want to do or not sure about, or doing things without thinking or while overthinking which might seem to sabotage me like getting past the early stages with men that I like. And I was wondering, do you have any insight on how I can specifically overcome the trauma I've experienced that I believe influences me to make the decisions that prevent my romantic relationships working?

MEntity:

Yes, one moment

The trauma that you are referring to lives on in the present predominantly throughout the unconsciousness reaction and of course through the chief features. The primary habitual ways you react to defend yourself from any possibility of threat, either real or imagined, it is these reactions that sabotage, if you will, your relationships.

However, it is more complicated than that, as it is also the unconsciousness reactions and chief features of your partners that play into this, it is not something you are doing alone and it is not something you were doing wrong. The only way out is through, so to speak. And that is through the processing and the becoming aware of this unconsciousness, these reactive patterns and habitual defensive mechanisms.

To put it more simply, it is fear and you are afraid. We could say the same for your partners. As you know, arrogance is a defense against vulnerability, weakness, exposure, being seen too closely. It protects against a fear of judgment from others.

We think that becoming more aware of these patterns of reaction in you, and defense and self protection in the moment is one way to begin to unravel the pattern to not completely succumb to the patterns when they are activated so that you have more room for choice and how you respond when you are with your potential partners.

There is a fear of being seen too closely because of the very trauma you have sustained. There is a young soul imprinting here around trauma and weakness and vulnerability that has programmed a belief in you that these aspects of yourself and these aspects of your experience are bad or wrong and somehow keeping you from attaining your ideals of self and visions of self which are so important to the priest.

So the arrogance seeks to cover up these more shadowy aspects of your being, or wounded aspects. Aspects that are not so put together that cannot present with perfection or idealism. So we see this arrogance operating when there is any sense of vulnerability or being seen too closely because of the fear that these traumas and wounds will be seen as well and you will be judged. There is an aspect here of failing others expectations but also your own.

The only way out is through in the sense that you must photograph these moments when the arrogance has been activated, when you find yourself creating distance and separation between your real self and the real self of another. The real self that includes not only the light but the shadow. Not only the strengths but the weaknesses and vulnerabilities. When you can be aware of the arrogance and the reaction in the moment, that is half the battle, so to speak.

You may not always be able to stop the Momentum due to the programming in your body, mind and heart. But over time because you are not continuing to fuel these patterns with unconsciousness, the momentum does begin to weaken and lessen. And there would be more and more space for your conscious response in the moment with whomever you are relating to so that you can then speak to and about what you fear and why you might be defensive or self protective. Letting people in and allowing people to see more of who you are, which invites intimacy, trust and healing.

This may not be easy in the moment, but it does get easier with continued awareness, commitment and practice. Does what we have said makes sense?

Avi: Yes, it definitely resonates and makes me feel that there is a possibility for me to figure this out and not keep repeating the same patterns. 

Avi: Next, I'd like to ask about my life task and how it shows when I take it on versus reject it..

MEntity:

Yes, we will look into this

This task could be refined over time. Or rather, the delivery of this task through our channels. We think the phrase that we will give you does touch at the core of what we read in your records in terms of tasks for the lifetime. Although there will always be various ways of interpreting and expressing these ideas through this channel at this time, we would say that the task is to compassionately help others through their own ordeals and challenges, especially the ones that are the same as yours. 

Essence set up this task and chose this task because of its interest in mutual healing, intimacy and community. There have been many lifetimes where you assisted others and helped others in their healing and evolution but you remained distant from your own pains and challenges and managed to keep those hidden from the ones you helped. 

In the mature Soul Cycle, you are learning a much greater degree of transparency and mutuality and a certain give and take when it comes to teaching and healing. You are beginning to learn that you teach what you are learning and that the only thing you can actually...the only healing you can actually support in another is healing that you have done yourself.

Relationships become much more compassionate and intimate as you explore this task and see your reflection in another. When you begin to embrace your own truth as a human being, rather than one that stands above the human dramas and scathing of the physical plane, which is what the younger Priest does throughout most of its incarnations, but as you mature, the Priest seeks to close this distance in space between yourself and others. This can be intense and tricky, because the boundaries of self can for time be lost and it can be hard to know what is your pain and what is another's? What is your responsibility and what is another’s (in terms of healing)? But for your Essence, the intensity and the dramas and the confusion, for the intimacy that community and the compassion and the mutual shared experience - all of this becomes worth it and, of course, for the evolution.

When you are not pursuing the task or rejecting Essence and the task, you fall into the familiar state of loneliness and the same distance that we refer to previously that you would seek to defend against with the arrogance that then creates more distance between you and others. Pursuing the task takes you into that space of inviting meaning in your relationships. And the alternative is a lack of meaning or the sense of lack of meaning within your relationships in between you and others to where you might ask yourself, “What is the point?” Or, “why does this matter?”

When you are pursuing the task, the messiness that comes with the shared healing and evolutionary journey and the intimacy that is nurtured through these experiences on the physical plane matters.

Next question.

Avi: What was my Essence thinking, creating this personality? Like reasons for making it how it is and I just kind of want more clarification or ideas about direction and strengths and best potentials for fulfillment

MEntity:

Yes, we understand one moment

When Essence creates a Personality or begins to create a Personality, it always begins with a seed idea if you will and then builds upon that idea. The seed idea that began the creation of this personality was patience. Or we could also say commitment, endurance. But patience captures the softer edges and the integration of consciousness that smooths the edges of commitment and endurance. They would say that patience is at the core of commitment and endurance. Your personality was designed with this patience in mind because your personality was also designed to be persuasive.

First and foremost by your example, with patience, persuasiveness, and the strength of orientation and guidance along the lines of a vision that always comes with the Priest essence. Because the intention of this lifetime was to help people through their pain and wounds and ordeals as a means to also moved through your own. It was expected that you would be looked to quite a bit for help and guidance. Would come to be relied upon depended upon as the Priest so often can be. So your Essence wanted Personality to be able to maintain its balance. Its composure. Its breath. Even in the most challenging relationships, experiences, emotions.

We see that your personality was designed simply to be able to always connect to the truth of the breath. To see you through each moment, no matter how hard the moments may become, staying connected to your vision, and then being able to guide and even lead through those next moments. MEntity: Personality has a built in sense of clarity in terms of possibility and potential for what those next moments can be. We would say that you inspire most through your ability to be patient, to endure through trying circumstances while letting your vision guide you towards making those choices that would bring you closer to the reality of that sense of potential vision. Others notice this in you, even when you’re at your worst, you inspire this way without trying. You don't give up, you push through. 

In terms of direction and strength and clarity that you seek you, we would always bring you back to the inspiration axis. Which processes live at the core of your essence which have to do with meaning, the creation of meaning, what is meaningful to you? What inspires you from deep within and how you inspire others. If you are not inspired, and it is not inspiring you, the path is not likely one that is supporting the manifestation of essence.

For an older soul, you are learning how to bring that meaning and the inspiration even into less ideal circumstances. You need to be inspired and inspire for any path or direction to be meaningful to you. I would also say that being a guide, in some way, is a natural role for you to play. This can come in many ways of course. Those moments when you feel that you are supporting the spiritual orientation or spiritual growth of another, are meaningful. And again, this can come in many ways. Helping someone to forgive, for example. Helping someone to have compassion for themselves, for example. Helping someone to achieve a goal that they did not know they could achieve is another example. Inspiring them and showing them how to inspire themselves on their way to those goals.

We can continue from this point looking more closely at your Overleaves. Unless you had a different topic or question you wanted us to look at.

Avi: Yeah, I wanted to ask another question about how I can actively manifest Essence and recognize when I'm rejecting Essence and in what situations and environments do I generally manifest it more? And if there's time (I know this is like too many questions) but are there any messages from Essence?

MEntity:

Yes, one moment while we look into this.

There are many ways we could describe the experience that you may experience with manifesting Essence. We have already spoken of some of these. When you are manifesting Essence, you are patient. It is a patient that comes with a tangible sense of compassion for wherever you or another may be in the moment and whatever it takes to move through those moments. We can also say that there would often be a sense of light within you. We think you know what we mean?

This light could be a sense of hope, possibility, potential, a sense of vision for the future, a sense of inspiration. But in this light in whatever way you may relate to it, or it may come to you, or you may sense and perceive it. This light would be woven into that sense of patience and compassion. And that sense of knowing intuitively how to move through life from moment to moment, no matter what life seems to be throwing at you. This manifestation of essence would show up as strength. All of these things we are saying are so closely tied together. Vision, from the sense of, you just know you know what needs to be said to another, you know what needs to be said to yourself. You would seem to know without knowing how you know how to be there for yourself or how to be there for another, again, to help yourself or another move through challenging moments. When you are rejecting Essence, there would tend to be the loneliness we mentioned before and the sense of lack of meaning to your life, to your relationships. A lack of inspiration and an acute sense that you are above it all. And why can’t anyone see what you see? It would be marked by anger and resentment. Although this would be true for anyone, we think it is particularly true for you and your personality. That to help you invite Essence back in, simply taking a few conscious breaths could be immensely helpful because the mind when rejecting Essence can spin with ideas of right and wrong. With judgments. The emotional body with anger and resentment. Simply not needing to do anything but taking breaths and being with the breath can go a long way to help reorient yourself in Essence and to begin to experience the patience and compassion that Essence always has access to.

You could also pray. We know that there has come to be much distortion and glamour attached to the idea of prayer. But you do not need those to effectively pray in the way that we are suggesting. A prayer in the way that we are suggesting is simply an acknowledgement that you do not know everything in the moment and that you are inviting help, insight, support, comfort, love, vision in that moment to help you through your next moments. This could be as easy as a silent thought, as you take a few deep, conscious breaths. And then wait to receive. Trusting what comes to you and what you know, in that moment. It could also be helpful in those moments where you find yourself in darkness, angry, frustrated, resentful, lonely, distant. Could also be helpful for you to share that with another. To expose yourself, to consciously be vulnerable and to let someone into your humanity which of course could invite more conscious healing and evolution and you being supported in that by another and you supporting another and there's which brings you precisely back to the task you have this lifetime. Do you recognize some of these states we have mentioned when in Essence or rejecting Essence?

Avi: Yes, I've been working a lot on it, especially in the past months. That feeling of light that you mentioned and just asking Essence for help. And then also when I felt angry, particularly in the past and just lonely in the past week, I recognized that I was probably rejecting Essence.

MEntity:

It is also important to remember these moments, when you may be aware of the rejection of Essence that it is okay in the sense of, this is where you are now. You can give yourself permission, to feel distant, to feel angry, to feel lonely. In fact, this is the first way to compassion as you work towards comprehending and integrating and coping more and more and more. It never helps to chastise yourself or fix yourself, so to speak. Because you are experiencing your negative poles or false personality. When you are manifesting Essence, it will not be necessarily what you expect because the positive polls include the negative poles. The manifestation of your Essence is inclusive. Which means that when you are consistently manifesting Essence and sustaining a higher percentage of the manifestation of Essence, you will have bad days, you will experience frustration. You will be triggered, you will be angry, you will be lonely in any other number of less than ideal states. The difference would be that there is an embrace of the poles and embrace of everything that it is possible for you to experience knowing that none of these states define you. They are simply experiences of being. So we would add permission to the conscious breath that we suggested into the prayer.

One message that we have from Essence is: It is okay. There is still a ways yet to go.

Avi: Thank you. I think that's probably the last one. Thank you so much.

MEntity: Very well done *. You are doing Good Work. We will conclude here for today. Goodbye for now.

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NOTES:

I cried throughout the session. I cry over everything so this is normal lmao but yeah, Nick is an amazing channel and the same love that I feel when reading Michael's teachings is the same I felt while speaking with them. An ultimate peace.

Also, super cool to learn about being a kid in ancient Greece tagging along while my auntie got her spirituality on. It was helpful to know my soul age is actually 5th Mature manifesting young to mature bc I do work in young industries and identify with a lot of 7th Young material on the internet but only to an extent lol. 

On my life task: WOW! wowowowowowow!! I've always felt compelled to speak and teach and show what I'm learning from the tough things I go through and even just the regular life things that may be good but at some points, I've been like, damn I need to fall back and introspect a little before I share my experiences to heal others. OR I would feel like I'm just way too open and always sharing the depths of my journey but I've been getting sooo much positive, unexpected feedback since moving back to LA from people who I have no idea know or pay attention to me/what I say just telling me that something I've posted on socials spoke to them or that they resonate with shit. So yeah, that feels good to know that's apart of my life task and that me spilling my guts often on socials isn't for naught lmao I mean I can certainly be more strategic and deliberate but obviously there are people who need to hear what I want to say and I need to say it lol. Even if I don't get the engagement or major props for it. It's nice to know I'm not just screaming into the void lol. Even if people don't say they're watching or reply or comment or like it, I've had a lot of interactions in the past month that have shown me that they definitely are. It can be creepy in a way because more people know shit about me than the people who are actively engaging/I can see them watching so now I'm like  ok, let me start thinking and using emotional authority more before posting shit. But I'm fine with it. I'm happy to help and don't really need much validation in that regard