20160531 My Anxiety Struggle

Last modified by TLE Archivist ONE on 2024/06/22 03:33

Session about my anxiety struggle emoticon_smile

Entry posted May 31, 2016

MEntity: Hello to you, 13-25-N. We are here, now. We can begin.

13-25-N

Hello Michael! I wish to know why I am struggling so much with anxiety/anxiety attacks, occasionally feelings of dread and despair.

What is causing it and what can I do about it?

MEntity

It is not unusual for those with the Goal of Flow to be wrought with anxiety, stress, control issues, panic, etc. as this is part of the learning curve for sustaining a Positive Pole of Flow.

The Positive Pole is Freedom, which is the state of being, feeling, and doing that maximizes the most of any given parameter or limitation.

The Negative Pole is Stagnation, which is the overemphasis or distraction with those limitations or parameters.

Flow is about surrendering to forces greater than you and then working within that force to the greatest effect possible.

In your case, when your Negative Pole is triggered, it activates your Tertiary Chief Feature, which is Impatience.

The Tertiary Chief Feature is hooked into the body, your health, and your sense of presence through the body.

This means that somewhere, somehow you have determined that when things are not evolving, growing, changing, moving along, showing progress, producing results, fast enough, then you risk running out of time, and that the meaning of life, your life, is being swallowed by this intangible, hungry thing that devours existence.

And because this is a Tertiary Chief Feature, it is not ruled by logic or easily tamed by insight. It is in your body, a visceral, tangible reaction to an intangible threat.

It triggers the Negative Pole of your Mercury and Mars Body Types to generate a surge of Nervousness and Compulsion.

We would have to look deeper in the records to know the origins of this Chief Feature, but that would be fairly moot at this point. Knowing the cause of an original fear is less important than owning the power in the present to consciously navigate and transform it.

13-25-N

Answer this at the end if we still have time left and that u haven't already answered it down the line; What was my essence' reasoning behind taking on this anxious challenge in the current lifetime? Assuming it was foreseen during the planning phase of this life.

I mean, the goal of flow with it's inherent anxious energies would be uncomfortable enough without adding the merc/mars and impatient energies into the mix aswell. From my personal experience it seem's by far to be the biggest challenge of my life this far, dealing with the immense anxieties.

MEntity

In your case, it could be said that your experience is related to "meaninglessness." Your Goal of Flow slides to Acceptance and Growth, which indicates to us that your ideas for what it means to be free is to nurture love and meaning, to love and be loved. In other words, there may be something very important to you about sustaining an intimate, meaningful relationship as a means to heal your past and/or secure your future.

And your tangible realm for where your anxieties may play out are in your states of relationships, pursuits of intimacy, and your sense of meaning in a relationship. If Time is the intangible threat, then your state of relationship/s may be felt to be the target of that threat.

No Overleaves or combination of Overleaves are chosen as a "challenge." They have a wide range of function and capacity and are in no way limited to the Negative Poles. ALL combinations and sets of Overleaves have their Negative Poles. Your Essence does not choose Overleaves for the Negative Poles. Overleaves are chosen for the Positive Poles.

Or more correctly: Overleaves are chosen for their specific range of capacity.

Negative Poles come into play as a result of Personality and its fears.

These cannot be anticipated by Essence.

The "best set" of Overleaves will be a challenge to the individual if he is in the Negative Poles.

13-25-N: Yeah okay, that makes sense.

MEntity

Your solution is likely a combination of approaches that need to be considered, from chemical balancing to diet to stress management, etc, but understanding that your underlying current of energy here may be some fear of missing out, fear of running out of time, fear of losing control of your existence, and that this may play out in relationships can be a helpful start.

Knowing this can help you to then bring some tangibility to the intangible and remind yourself that there is no threat.

13-25-N: By chemical balancing, do you mean therapy with happy pills ? :\

MEntity

When you feel this anxiety rise, say kindly and gently to yourself, "I HAVE PLENTY OF TIME," and caress your arm the way you would a child, and see if this helps you to regain your sense of choice in the matter.

Because that is the only way you can transform this energy is to bring yourself back into a state of CHOICE. Most anxieties and fears are about forgetting the power of choice, so if you can return that power, you can then consider your next steps instead of waiting for something bad to happen to prove your worries.

Chemical imbalances can come from diet, lack of water, lack of movement, etc. and not necessarily require prescription drugs to balance.

13-25-N

Good

Basically, the root problem about my anxiety is a fear of running out of time, impatience?

MEntity: We know we have not solved your concerns today, but it is Good Work that you pursue this understanding of yourself in a way that may offer healing.

13-25-N: That's quite alright, wouldn't wanna make it too easy now ? ;P

MEntity: 13-25-N, it goes deeper than that, but that is the most-easily grasped thread to start pulling, so to speak, so that the deeper issues might come to be more carefully addressed as they come up.

13-25-N: I feel the biggest hinderance in my struggle with anxiety and exploring it is a fear of going crazy, fear of loosing my mind. How valid is this fear?

MEntity

It is not so much about running out of time, but that time is passing faster than your ability to create or find deeper meaning, particularly in a relationship, OR that time is a threat to the loss of what meaning you have established that has become so important to you.

Your last question speaks to this very issue: that your very existence is threatened. It is not so much about losing your mind as it is about losing "you."

13-25-N: ah.. touchè

MEntity

Your work now is to truly grasp that you cannot un-exist. That meaning is fluid and contextual and creative and changing and easily grows with you, not without you.

We must conclude here for today, but what we have shared today can be a start. We do not see concern for "losing your mind" in any literal sense, but we do know that your mind is overworked and needs to find ways to slow down.

13-25-N: I agree, thankyou Michael emoticon_smile

MEntity: Good day to you. And goodbye, for now.