ENCOURAGEMENT CALL

Empowerment Lab: Encouragement Call – August 10, 2024

Troy: Encouragement Call - I've requested a very rare and unique exchange with Michael where each student brings to the discussion what they consider to be their greatest obstacle in life, and Michael will respond directly to the student with their brand of encouragement. Be prepared for raw truth, love, and beauty to be shared here.

MEntity: We will call on Ann to share how she describes her personal obstacle or challenge, first.

AnnH: I may not be addressing it accurately, but it feels like inertia and dread are my biggest obstacles. I hope you may be able to pinpoint more clearly this (or these) issues.

MEntity: Next, Luciana

Luciana: 

believe that at the moment my main obstacle is my insecurity, which is causing an internal conflict... between trying to get closer to people and risking my problems disrupting the individual or group relationship, or keeping things on a more superficial level so as not to lose what I already have.

A practical example would be the following... last year I discovered a DD group and started playing with some people on TLE... I liked it so much that a friend suggested I look for Brazilian players, which I did... and I started playing with some players here... However, I was having a lot of triggers at the time, so to avoid them I purposely acted in a gentle manner and kept the conversation superficial... avoiding talking about anything unrelated to the game... However, this year I started to try to build a closer relationship with these players... However, the fear that my triggers will get in the way remains... especially after I witnessed what an out-of-control trigger can do to a group... at the moment this seems to be my biggest obstacle.

MEntity> Next, Andreas.

Andreas: I way too often run into the problem that I don’t know if my decisions actually benefit me or if I’m too biased towards one of them and decide for it because I want it to be the best one. This also has the danger that I may not want to see the truth in some things and/or avoid taking responsibility (both of which even may have already happened). What can I do to? It would be nice to have a better objective view to improve my decisions.

MEntity: Next, Patty.

Patty: 

I suppose I will go with the anger I feel about our Patriarchal Society, I see its influence in literally everything. I often question interactions I have with people (mostly men, but sometimes women), wonder if they would hear me or take me more seriously (not just me, I wonder this about other's experiences too), if I were a man. It is insidious, and as I have grown older and more aware, I have grown more angry.

Not that I move through the world visibly angry, but I am aware that it lurks within.

MEntity: Next, Bogi.

Bogi: Hello Michael, during the last few years, since we have been working together, we talked about a few issues of mine. For today, I chose the issue of following through. This is a theme for the current Cluster I am in. My life does not reflect my abilities and capabilities, and I feel like I am aimlessly wandering through life. I can get inspired, I can make a good start and make plans, but somewhere along the road I lose my focus, my direction, and I tend to end up with half-finished things.

MEntity: Next, Maureen.

Maureen: I think my greatest obstacle is related to control or, more accurately, lack of control and the need to “save everyone”. I know this goes back to my Infant Soul lifetimes when I couldn’t and it was devastating to me when many people died. I see this show up as a hyper-vigilance that affects my health through anxiety and even my sleep. I’ve done a lot of work through my Intellectual and Emotional bodies but it’s now “settled” in my (poor) Physical body. I’m currently at the tail end of a Turning Point where I’ve been working through these issues by calling up trust and surrender. It’s been a tough couple of months health-wise and I am getting help on this “out there” but it still feels daunting. I’m really really tired of this obstacle.

MEntity: Next, Faye.

Faye: I am not sure I believe in obstacles. Maybe it's a flow thing. There are always going to be paths of greater or less flow, but my perspective is that given enough time, any and every obstacle will be overcome. My only real ambitions have been and are to be kind and to make my life as simple and easy as possible. Nothing much blocks that except for everything. lol And when everything is an obstacle... I guess I stopped thinking in terms of obstacles. Even that is an obstacle. But I guess if I were to believe in obstacles for a moment and lend myself some remembrance of dead dreams, I would say, my physical health is my greatest obstacle.

MEntity: Next, Uma.

Uma: Looking back, fear and self-doubt I think were my biggest obstacles. Now I'm not experiencing obstacles but still don't know if my perceptions of the way things are is accurate or I have been fooled by some dis or misinformation. Hard to know what's true. So I guess fear and self-doubt are still here!

MEntity: And finally, Janet.

JanetE: I can’t think of a “greatest obstacle.” My life is not too bad. Problems come up and I deal with them as best I can. Maybe I have a blind spot that keeps me from seeing something. 

Maureen: Michael, is this a good venue to include Troy?

MEntity: If there is time, we will offer a response for Troy.

Maureen: Thank you

MEntity: 

We are assessing each of your responses. Rather than share with you an entire system that you can use for future examination, we will apply a system in our responses so that we can teach this system as we offer our more intimate response.

First, we will say that when ENCOURAGEMENT is needed or wanted, it tends to be forms of Encouragement that speak to either one's Essence or one's Goal. If there are blocks to Essence, then forms of encouragement that help one to reconnect with Essence can be helpful. If there are blocks in Personality, then encouragement that helps to return one to motivation (the Goal), can be effective.

Today, we will respond to each of your descriptions of your obstacles that could use encouragement with a system for the Essence and for the Personality.

Our responses may correlate with certain Goals and certain Roles, but these are not relevant to your own. Though there are correlations, it is about the energies of these Goals and Roles that are important to your encouragement.

IN RESPONSE TO ANN:

When one is challenged with inertia and dread, it tends to be related to feeling uncertain and an overwhelming feeling of being stuck. This means that you could benefit from CLARITY and VALIDATION.

We invite clarity today by pointing out that there was a time when you sought for things to slow down, to allow room for catching up with yourself, to breathe, so to speak. You have been in an arc of experiences where you have the opportunity to make TINY changes rather than major changes. Trying out experimental manageable steps allows for discovering what matters and what does not. 

Small, actionable steps are all you need for now. If this means that your step today is to eat well, let that be your step. If what you need is to call someone, let that be your step. Each of these small steps create enough movement to help reduce the sense of inertia, allowing for you to reframe your situation as opportunities for growth, rather than paralyzing challenges. Movement and progression need not be swift, only consistent.

As for Validation, you need more validation for your feelings. This is as important as any action to take. What you are feeling is valid. Much of what you feel is created in the gap between existential demands and creative desires. You are bored with what others are sharing but are uncertain about what you could share. You are "so fucking bored" with existence and the mediocrity of expression. When we say you are bored, we mean that you know there is more to life than the overwhelming tragedies and demands of existence.

AnnH: I am fucking bored. And I feel happier just having had you say that

MEntity: 

We can validate your feelings as they are shared among many and are not unfair. The amount of tragedy and suffering and challenges and even mediocrity, which we will define here as a lack of effort to fulfill potential, is dark and ugly, particularly for older souls who know so profoundly how "good" life could be.

We encourage you to treat each day as a moment, not as a dreadful thing. Treat each day as a moment where you can take a step, any step, and let it count for something. Acknowledge your boredom, but do not let it define life. It is fair to be disappointed, but not as a form of self-punishment. We encourage you to reward your observations and feelings with nostalgic treats, with new experiences, etc., that may not change the world, but could invite greater freedom from dread and inertia.

AnnH: What would be a "nostalgic treat" An example?

MEntity: Anything that brings into the present a good feeling from the past. This could be music, an old movie, a scent, an old hobby, etc.

AnnH: This lifetime past or other lifetimes?

MEntity: It can even be something such as "remember when I used to enjoy writing," and gift yourself with a nostalgic treat of writing because you write. This can be translated into any form of expression if writing is not nostalgic.

AnnH: Got it! Thank you.

MEntity: 

You feel that time has stolen much from you, but it has not.

You are still you and quite good at being you.

NEXT, IN RESPONSE TO LUCIANA:

For your concerns, Luciana, we can suggest two forms of encouragement: PURPOSE and COMPASSION. 

Encouragement through Purpose means giving yourself a more defined goal for how you navigate your obstacle. In your case, you must remember that your purpose is to accept and be accepted. Letting yourself have this as a fully embraced purpose can help you to soothe your insecurities and simply stay on task.

This is your only purpose: to accept and be accepted.

You cannot control who accepts you, but you can control who you accept, and as you focus on accepting others, it can help keep the focus off of whether you are accepted or not.

Your insecurity comes from the question of being accepted, but if you allow your purpose to be the one who makes the effort to accept others, your own acceptance comes more naturally and organically.

Your insecurity is a part of you and your first effort to accept others may be in accepting your insecurity. When you accept your insecurity in the same way you might accept someone else, you soften the insecurity and give it room to exist without it controlling you. You may find yourself realizing you are insecure, but rather than reacting with defense or withdrawal, if you have accepted insecurity as a part of you, then your insecurity can prompt kindness, instead.

Luciana: ok

MEntity: 

Which leads us into Compassion as a form of encouragement for your Essence. In your case, we encourage you to see compassion as WARMTH. Rather than speaking up about your insecurities, speak up about your compassion. Speak warmly to yourself and to others. Being "warm" means staying present and kind, even if you are insecure or worried. This means speaking to yourself warmly, and not with hostility or defense.

When you are in a group, instead of retreating, remind yourself to be warm, both to yourself and to others. 

We encourage you to share the warmth of your heart because it is far more real than your insecurity.

NEXT, ANDREAS: 

We see you best served through encouragement in the form of DETERMINATION and GUIDANCE.

When one struggles with decision-making where they fear their bias may lead them to avoid the truth or responsibility, DETERMINATION can help bring out your true motivation and GUIDANCE can be sought when possible.

When you reach a point where you must make a choice, be determined. By this we mean to shift your focus away from being decisive and aim for being determined. Determine what is valuable in the choice, who benefits from the choice, whether the choice fits in with bigger picture of what you want for yourself and others. This invites more discernment so that you encourage yourself to be critical but kind, allowing room for choices that prioritizes values over least resistance. 

Encouragement as Guidance would mean stepping back, stepping up, and determining if you can stand by your choices. If you can stand by your choice if someone were to question the choice, you need not be conflicted. 

We encourage you to trust your choices because however meaningful or meaningless they may seem, your choices are never cruel. Those who do not question their choices are often those who bring the greatest harm.

NEXT, PATTY:

Andreas: Thank you.

MEntity: 

When grappling with anger about the pervasive influence of a patriarchal society, particularly the way it impacts interactions and how they are perceived, two forms of encouragement may be helpful: FULFILLMENT and INSPIRATION.

We encourage you to participate in fulfilling service to others that can channel anger into creativity and productivity, bringing change in ways that matter. Constructive anger is a powerful fuel that can change the trajectory of humankind. So, our first encouragement here is to determine how you can satisfy your anger by creating alternative experiences that helps you to feel a part of the solution, rather than as passive or a part of the problems you perceive.

Patty: Ok, I have been participating in phone banking for Kamala here and there, and that makes me feel like I'm contributing to a less patriarchal society. Do you have any other suggestions or examples?

MEntity: 

Start there. Let that be fulfilling. Let yourself focus on experiencing fulfillment in this because this will then allow you to better determine other options.

This leads us to INSPIRATION. When you are inspiring others, you are reflecting back to them what they can see as the best in themselves. You are inspired, it is the same. Look at Inspiration as a form of reflection, and look to what or who inspires you. This the world you live in, not JUST the larger world dominated by patriarchy. Let yourself live in many worlds.

We encourage you to know that you are an inspiration. It can help change the tone of all of your choices and actions to know this.

Patty: Thank you, I'm going to continue to grapple with this, because it doesn't seem like I can ever do enough to offset the onslaught that is the patriarchy. *grim laughter*

MEntity: 

NEXT, BOGI:

As you are struggling with following through on your plans and feeling that your life does not reflect your true abilities and capabilities, we suggest two forms of encouragement - ASPIRATION and SUPPORT.

First, we encourage you with Aspiration as this is your life. You are allowed to be ambitious and in charge. There is nothing stopping this. Nothing. Even if you are uncertain and feeling as if life does not reflect you, etc. it is not because something stopped this. It is simply a matter of shift in perspective. You are in charge. This IS your life. You are allowed to ASPIRE. If you are uncertain about a long-term vision, aspire to discover or create that vision. Aspire to discover or create YOUR version of taking charge of your life. We think you have been imprinted with ideas about what it means to "take charge" and "live your life" from sources that are not the same as what you want or what you would do. Aspire to INVENT this life, not just direct it.

Which leads us to encourage you with SUPPORT. In this case, support is practical. We encourage you to see the practical tools you have, use the practical tools you have, set your goals, seek knowledge, ask for advice, etc. We encourage you today by reminding you that you know what to do. When you lose focus, refocus. When you lose your direction, stop and look around and decide on a direction again. When something is half-finished, pick it up and make it bit more than half-finished. You are inventing how you make this life your own and you are allowed to support this in the most practical of ways with the simplest of actions.

We encourage you to stop assuming you have lost your way and start realizing that you are only asking yourself to be creative on your own terms.

Bogi83: Thank you Michael.

MEntity: 

NEXT, MAUREEN

For someone grappling with issues related to control and a strong need to "save everyone," two forms of encouragement may help: BALANCE and COMPASSION.

We encourage you first to go with Balance, which in this case is acknowledgement of the natural rhythms of this life. Continue cultivating your trust in the cycles, ebbs and flows, and processes. You know from experience that these cannot be controlled, but only navigated. Navigation is a form of control, so when you encourage yourself with Balance, your navigation can feel more comfortable.

There can often only be positive effects and positive impact, and these matter as much as "saving" others.

We also encourage you with Compassion. In this case, we encourage you to be nicer. By this we mean that it can be too easy to begrudge, dismiss, and reject others who may not see, act, or feel the same way as you, and too easy to begrudge, dismiss, and reject your own questions and uncertainties when confronted with counterpoints and perspectives. Compassion will help you to navigate these experiences. Being nice to yourself and to others will help give you the room you need for better assessment and conclusions, which brings more comforting control.

Maureen: LOL I see myself as being too nice!

MEntity: 

FOR FAYE: 

For someone with a perspective that does not typically acknowledge obstacles but recognizes that their physical health might be a significant challenge, we can offer two forms of encouragement - CLARITY and VISION. 

As mentioned earlier, Clarity is a means of aiming for progress and growth as a form of encouragement. When you have deemed nothing as obstacles while knowing everything may be an obstacle, then you can use clarity for determining how and when and why you would like to grow. You get to choose. You will grow, regardless, but we encourage this discernment of clarity in stating such things as "I do want to learn how to be confident in my presence with my health." Or "I do want to learn how to self-comfort without losing a sense of connection to others," etc. 

We also encourage you to clarify your VISION. By this we mean, it may be time to create a coherent narrative about your life on your own terms. Tell the story of who you are based on your vision, not based on your challenges or lack thereof. Let your body be a part of the story, or even the main plot, but let yourself write the greater story of your existence, rather than waiting for the climax to surprise you.

We encourage you to change your narrative where you can and to allow room for your narrative to be visionary, not as a form of overwhelm, but as a greater context for existence.

For example, you may see life as on hold while you deal with obstacles of the body, but you can change that narrative to be about the acute kindness and compassion and patience and love that you have for this beautiful body that will never exist again. Let the story be about your love, not your survival. Let the story be about your mysteries, not disappointments. Let the story be about those who have come to matter so much. 

NEXT, UMA

For someone reflecting on how fear and self-doubt were once significant obstacles and who now struggles with uncertainty about the accuracy of their perception, concerned that you might be misled by misinformation, we can suggest PURPOSE and GUIDANCE as your forms of encouragement.

First, we can encourage you to focus on what you feel is purposeful and meaningful. You need not be concerned with overthinking it, only that there is purpose and meaning in it for you. This does not mean to disregard discernment, but simply not to overthink it. 

We can also suggest guidance as a form of encouragement, which means asking for other's perspective, seeing through other eyes, relying on trusted sources that you have confirmed valid. You may never know all that is true or false, but you can know what you know from sources known to be truthful.

FOR JANET:

For someone who feels their life is generally good but wonders if they might have a blind spot preventing them from seeing a significant obstacle, two forms of encouragement: CLARITY and INSPIRATION.

In your case, Clarity here would be a form of encouragement to honor the smoothness of this life while honoring the fact that you have always looked deeper for challenges that contributed to your growth. Many people grow from the obstacles thrown at them in life, and many grow from challenges chosen in life. In your case, it is important to honor how much you have taken on that was often by choice and contributed greatly to your evolving self-awareness.

We also offer encouragement in the form of Inspiration, which in this case means to continue returning to creativity to nurture your spirit. You need not remain busy to feel alive, but you do need to be creative to feel alive. We encourage your creativity to be nurtured as often as you feel inclined, never ignoring the internal prompts. 

This will keep the sense of growth and spirit alive for you as long as you live.

We know that our encouragement is not life-changing. We offer these forms of encouragement for you to remember and use for yourself as you need them. They are quite accessible to you and fairly easy to implement as a way to keep your encouragement high. 

We can take one or two questions:

Yes, Faye.

Or Patty or Maureen. We will respond to what is asked first.

Faye: I realize I need clarity and it is something I think about a lot, but I am really scared of finding out the real extent of how it affects my life. My question, I guess is how do I work on that fear to start wanting Clarity?

MEntity: 

Let your clarity focus on the fear, first. Look at the fear. Let it be something that can ride with you, not something that must be fought or transformed before you can see clearly. Let your fear be what helps you focus, see, even feel. 

Name your fear. Let it ride with you. Beside you. When one can look at fear with clarity, it no longer steers, but becomes a passenger.

Patty: I am noticing that in my classroom, the boys have a heard time considering things from a female perspective. I find this frustrating, because girls are often considering boys perspectives and even making accommodations for them. How can help the boys have a more expansive and inclusive understanding of the full human experience? And I would appreciate ideas to help inspire the girls to take more leadership roles as well.

MEntity: That is a topic in itself. We will suggest this topic to Troy as a focus for a future exchange. We think we may be able to help with suggestions for helping create more egalitarian reception and contribution in the new paradigm.

Patty: Thank you! It's definitely not just in my classroom, I notice this with adults too! But I have more opportunities to influence my students on a consistent basis.

MEntity: Final question, then we must conclude. We have exhausted our channel.

Maureen: What you said to me felt discouraging not encouraging. In fact, I feel like shit. It felt like you were way off for me... and I dislike the word "nice" as it's just another word for Ingratiation. 

MEntity: 

Maureen, you are putting into practice the very thing we suggested altering, particularly in regard to our suggestions for Compassion. We intentionally used words that would help in pointing out the need for more compassion. We said, "In this case, we encourage you to be nicer. By this we mean that it can be too easy to begrudge, dismiss, and reject others who may not see, act, or feel the same way as you, and too easy to begrudge, dismiss, and reject your own questions and uncertainties when confronted with counterpoints and perspectives." We did not offer discouragement, yet you have described it as such because it did not comply with your terminology or expectations or perspective. This is where it will help to be nicer. We chose the term "nice" as in this form of compassion, it will not feel the same as being kind. Being nice often does not feel good or even kind, but gives you and others a bit more room to hear or see or be, when otherwise the dynamic would be left in dismissal, denial, or disappointment.

We encourage you to give more room to yourself and others before concluding anything. We were speaking directly to the concern for control and not being able to save everyone. Giving yourself room, being "nicer" as a deliberate tool to allow space for processing and not as a false effort can help you to determine more kindly when you cannot control and when you cannot save. 

We certainly do not offer discouragement, regardless of the distaste for a single term used. 

Maureen: It's the whole not just the one word.

MEntity: As we must conclude here, we can only suggest stepping back before re-reading and seeing the words as we offered them. We did not misspeak, but the exchange has showcased the necessity for compassion in processing the moments where you seek control. Good day to each of you. Goodbye, for now.